So Bitter & Sweet

I can remember a beautiful sunny hot day as we sat at the table in your backyard

Sipping on Iced tea..laughing & talking about our boyfriends at that time

I felt like we were the only ones who understood how important love was to us

I thought we would grow old together

I imagined us sitting in our rocking chairs as little raisins…

Still laughing…sipping on iced teas on a summer day

You still appear in my dreams

I wonder how you are

I wonder how my life would be like if you were still in it

And I always admit to myself…how much I miss you

I miss confiding in you

I miss turning to you when the world seemed to go dark on me

I miss lying my head on your shoulder

You were the only one who knew my entire story

From beginning to end

You saw how I was suffering…

I thought you were my ride or die

Today I am still confused whether you still were or if it changed

I might never know but it doesn’t haunt me

I learned to let go & move forward

I just find it interesting

To think you are close enough to walk to & ring on your doorbell

I always imagine how it would go

If our eyes would meet in regret…if we would swallow our pride and embrace

I wonder if you ever reached out without me knowing

I simply miss having that one person..who just simply understood