Poetry

Escape

When most people were escaping their pain through their work

When most people would pick up the bottle

When most people would do a line & a half

When most people would bury their pain in a womans body

I was stepping into the fire

I laid in my bed

For hours

For days

For weeks

But I too was numbing out…

I numbed myself out of joy

I numbed myself out of life

Joy did not come & go

Joy came & fled

And darkness slowly overtook

September 6, 2022 0

I Hid

I hid

I tried to fit myself into places I didnt belong

I starved myself, cut myself, tried to refigure & rearrange myself

I hid from places where I wanted to be

I hid from people I wanted in my life

All because

There was a little part of me

That felt like I wasn’t good enough to be there

That everyone is better than me

That Ill be rejected

Like how the people who were supposed to love me the most

Rejected me

September 6, 2022 0

The Devil

I fell in love

With the devil himself

Disguised as an Angel

Everything you desire

Is what he will give you

He’ll make your dreams come true

He tells you

I love you

And as soon as you’ve truly fallen

And you’ve been tricked by the facade

He takes it all away from you

With a smirk on his face

The love you thought you had

Was never real

As if he took all your dreams

And burned them to ashes

In front of your very eyes

No one else will know

Because the whole world is tricked by the facade

And when he leaves

Your soul will be left in ashes too

For the world will think you’re crazy

But its because you know the Truth

December 1, 2020 0

Bottled Up

After all these years…

I still hate you

But in truth I hate myself for allowing you to do the things you did

There’s hate because your anger still lives inside me

Take your anger back

This is not my obligation to carry your pain

I wonder if I ever cross your mind

At this point I don’t care really

I could have hurt you so much more than I did

I had you in my hands and I could have ruined your life forever

But I am not you

I am not the monster that you are

Stop projecting your mirror image onto others

Be well dear for I have once made love to you

July 18, 2020 0

Anger

Didn’t scream
Didn’t fight
Didn’t yell
Didn’t destroy

Repressed
Suppressed
Stuffed down
Bottled Up

When Anger spoke

Anger Cried

And she said

“You kept me silent for so long”

“You never let me speak”

“You’ve neglected me for so long”

“You never let me be heard”

July 18, 2020 0

He looks at her
And you walk away
You’re scared aren’t you?
You just can’t admit it
But everyone knows dear
It is so evident in your face
These walls you built
These walls these people built around your heart
It must hurt
To be way up high in that icy cold castle of yours
Hiding away all your jewels and treasures
What are they if they are just for you to marvel at
And the bridge collapses…
That bridge you were trying to get him to climb over
But you just gave up..
You gave up because you’re scared
I am too
I am just like you
I walk away
Because once I couldn’t
I’d rather walk away than to be torn apart
When walking away feels harder
When I can’t imagine walking away

May 13, 2020 0

Monsters

They lie next to you
In Bed
They lie to you
They are the lie
Sometimes they snore
Sometimes they don’t
They sit next to you in church
They give to charities
Good deeds that never come from the heart
Master Manipulators
You would never know
They stand among us disguised as good samaratins
They leave hidden paths of destruction and chaos
They are to be understood
Not to be hated
For hate wears heavy on the heart
If anything there is pity
For they are prisoners of their own sickness
Broken mirrors they are
What you see is not an accurate reflection
They like to play
For what are games to them
Are nightmare for us
Beware
Of the monsters that live among us
True evil exists in this world