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Awakening of Ann

Welcome to my soul & mind

I started writing…

To return to my original self

To be self aware of my emotions

To get things off my chest

To fall in love with words again

To immerse myself into a different world

To share my thoughts ..dark or light

To be part of a beautiful community

I started writing…

Featured post

Bitch

Where the fuck are you?
Where have you been?
Bitch I’m waiting for you
Stop playing these silly games
Just meet me where I am
Why couldn’t you be the one?
I seriously thought it was you
And then you went ahead and crumbled my love for you in your hands
How could you do that to me?
I have no idea how to erase you from my memories
I still dream about you
You were my first real love
What a terrible experience that was
I have yet to fall in love like that again
Have you?
Have you not found someone to put up with all your bullshit yet?
I doubt it
At least not like I did
Do you still dream about me?
I bet you curse my name every day
There’s a barrier between us
You put that there
It wasn’t me baby
What do you have left to say?
I wonder if I’ll ever happen to come across you
I wonder how you’d look at me
Would you have eyes of repentance?
Would you even look at me?
Would you say “I know I fucked up.”
I drowned all my dreams with those bottles
Laying in my bed
Looking at the ceiling
It could have been so perfect
Oh sweet baby
I’m sorry
I’m sorry for you
This bitch

Shadows

We met in your shadows
I wanted to see your light
I wanted you without all your flaws
I found him
I was wrong
I don’t want you at all
I never want to feel like this again
But I know I’m lying
Exactly 3 years later
That wish came true
How painful was it
To have you remembered
How terrible is it that I can’t forget you
How disgusting is it
That I still wish the best for you
How sick of me to wish you well
I must be my own sadist
Or am I really channeling my Inner Mother Teresa
You have marked me
I have marked you
We both lost
I never lose anymore
Fuck You
I just wanted to heal you

Beautiful

She was so beautiful I cried
My heart ached
The tear fell down my face
I longed to hold her
I yearned to grab her
To make her mine
To breathe her in
Take in her orgasmic essence
Get lost in her
I can feel her heart
It’s not just those beautiful curves
Or that sweet naughty smile
Or the way she bites her lip
It’s how clueless she is to how beautiful I find her
Its how much space she has in her heart
To love, nurture, and forgive all who have harmed her
To carry on with caution but no regrets
I love the way her hips sway underneath the moonlight
I love the way she gets lost in her head
I wonder what she thinks about
I know she’s of substance
God is she deep
If I dive
I know I’m gone forever
I’ll never come back for air
I love her so much I almost want to hurt her
I want to make her feel alive
I want to make her cry
I want to make her laugh
It’s like I woke up from this cloud I’ve been living in
Sometimes I just want to crawl in her
She can see through me
And it scares me
She has a way of capturing your heart in mysterious ways
She is so silent sometimes
Yet it’s so soothing
Will she run away if I get on my knees
She’s wild and roams free
I don’t want to tame her but I want her so bad
Butterflies
This uneasiness that I’ll never see her again
So I’ll just love her the way she wants me to love her
She’ll never be captured
She’ll never be owned
The butterfly dancing in the sky
Forever dancing
I’ve never seen a woman so wild
She’s beautiful
It hurts

Them…

Its the ones you love
Or the ones you once made love to
The people who say they care
The people who say they won’t judge
Its the people you trust
Or who you once trusted
The people who betray you
The people who insult you
The people who belittle you
Yet I
I still trust
I still love
I open my heart
I open my arms
Surrendering
To love
To hurt
To wisdom
When you come into my life
My heart is your land
Do with it as you shall
But remember
You reap what you sow
Even when you run my land barren
And desert me…
The rain eventually comes to bring me back to life
No matter what you do
I stay standing

Pussy

You’ve come from my womb
I have birthed you
I have nurtured you
I have loved you
From birth you will spend the rest of your life
Trying to reach my womb once again
You seek my comfort
Let your head rest on my humble bosom
You seek my nurturing
Let your pains wash away with the pleasure of my body
I have let you into my sanctuary
When you brought home food
I gave you a meal in return
When you bought a house
I gave you a loving home to return to
When you planted seeds
I gave you more life
I let you carry out your legacy for generations
He has plowed my soil
With all the love I have given & everything I have multiplied for you
You yet refuse to admit you fear me
You have built the world in your favor
You have shackled my spirituality…my nature
You have worked your whole life to own me and my beautiful sisters
You have marked me as your land, your territory
You have worked to conquer me..to control us
You can’t seem to embrace the power of my sexuality
Throughout the ages
You have sacrificed me
You have stoned me to death
You have burned me as a witch
You have divorced me
You have separated me from my children
Why do you shame thus which you desire so much?
You see me only as you want me to be
Yet I am so much more
I hear your muttered insults
Those directed towards my insatiable exotic sisters
Those directed to myself
Yet you dream of us
Yet you desire us
Yet you LUST for us
For you desire not just I…but all the beauties I have birthed
So let us be free…the way we have let you be free without stigma
You hate me and my daughters for we have refused to be your slaves
Why the electrified high-security razor-wire fence to contain a kitty-cat?
My dear, the strength of the drive determines the force required to suppress it.
My pussy makes the world go round
You simply can’t forget me

Black Caramel

I want to lose sight of my fingers as I comb through your hair
Lose all sense of time when I look into your eyes
To lose my ego as Im baptized in your gracious love
Oh Dear..My Sweet Dark Caramel
Bathe me in your honey over and over again
Mesmerized by your skin glistening under moonlight
Let us vanish in the depths of the woods
Howl like we own the night
You are the caramel to my macchiato
I have relinquished all my power
Just to love you

Woman

I’m not your slave…
Yet there are moments when I want to be
I’m not your whore…
Yet there are moments when I want you to treat me as such
I’m not your sanctuary
Though I wish all I could offer you is peace
She struggles with her identity as a woman
I hate that I want you…
And now my dear…
I need you for reasons people can’t quite grasp
I write
When the hearts cries & when it sings in joy
Baby you got the world…
But at what price?
I want to get down on my knees
I want to serve you
How could I betray myself like that?
To let a man conquer me
To love you so much
I blessed you with my darkest abyss
I let you plant seeds
For I am mother…
One with the earth
We reap what we sow

Restless Nights

How can I sleep?
When I know how much the world suffers
When I know that there are so many other broken souls who drown their voices & dreams with the rivers of their tears
How can I sleep?
When I sprawl my fingers out onto my bed beside me and I feel the emptiness
How can I sleep?
When I think about who you could be making love to now…
Who are you lying to now?
It’s as if I can feel the pain of the world along with it’s beauty
How can I sleep?
When I’ve gotten almost everything I ever wanted yet I am still unhappy
I still will never forget those tears & cries
I didn’t know where they were coming from at first
It just seemed like noise
Until I realized I was the one crying
That night it felt like my soul died

This Time

I no longer pray for myself
I pray for you
I pray that you learn to forgive one day
I pray one day you can let go of all that hatred in your heart
What a heavy thing to carry it must be
I pray that one day you will find happiness
I pray that you will find that from within yourself
I pray for you my dear
My old beloved

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