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Awakening of Ann

Welcome to my soul & mind

I started writing…

To return to my original self

To be self aware of my emotions

To get things off my chest

To fall in love with words again

To immerse myself into a different world

To share my thoughts ..dark or light

To be part of a beautiful community

I started writing…

Featured post

Her Smile

I can see the sadness in your smile
He said
I can see it in your eyes
I knew from the first time I saw you again that something was missing
Something is Missing
Is it my love
Am I missing my love?
I bathe myself in sweet solitude
I prefer to be alone
Unbothered
Yet my heart yearns for more
More than just a connection
More than just another lover’s sweet lips
More than just another lustful encounter on a sweet summer night
The seasons are changing my dear
I’m waiting
To wake up in a different life
To wake up in a different person
To wake up in a different perspective
Shake me my dear
Shake me for I am sleeping in life
It’s all a dream
Bring me back to reality
For I have lost my sight
I have lost my vision for so much more
Yet You have so much more to go
He said
And she turned away
Let me dive into your world
Because I’d like to forget mine…

She looks in the mirror
Where is this sadness this man speaks of?

Darling….remember
This life is what you make of it

It is not what the world can give you
But what you can give to the world

Zinfandel

Quilted Blanket on a wooden floor
Red Zinfandel Turley
An Intellectual Mind
Savoring for Physical Satisfaction
A Desire I simply can not explain
Keys on the Piano
Thrust of Passion
Glances of absolute hunger
Beauty of the human state
How do we explain that…
Life is longing for itself
We want to connect with one another
How do we that on a level that we are afraid of?
I want to know you
Not just the smell of chanel
Or those fancy words you learned at Harvard
I want to feel your soul
Let me return to my erotic exotic goddess self
Teach me your ways
Teach me how to love you
And your brothers
Because as much as we want to fight you
I see myself in you
You are my other half

Silly Little Doll Faces

A painful existence
Brushing her hair
Fixing her Makeup
Home all alone
Home all day
A slave to her love

Home

The man go on holiday
I am home
He always comes back
But actually I am the holiday
I am no man’s home
And it shall remain that way

When I Die…

I know I would have made you feel alive
I know I would have made you cry
I would have made you laugh
I would have made you angry
I would have made you smile a million times and more
I wish I could be here forever
I wish I could stay to see your face in the morning everyday
So many things I wish I would have done
But little did I know
How little I have left to be with you
I’ve waited what seemed like an eternity
It’ll hurt when it’s time to say goodbye
Funny all the things we thought were important
Funny when we’re having breakfast in the middle of the day
No fucks given
So hold me because I’m scared
I’m scared tomorrow won’t come
For me at least
Babe I’m so sorry
I pray everyday that when I’m gone
You’ll find someone to hold you in their arms
To love you unconditionally the way I have
To take my place beside you in our bed
Don’t come with me when I go
Stay because you are life’s greatest gift
They need you baby
I’ll be waiting for you

Are You In A Toxic Relationship?

1. Are you frightened by your partner’s temper?
2. Are you afraid to disagree with your partner?
3. Are you constantly apologizing for your partner’s behavior, especially when he/she has treated you badly?
4. Do you have to justify every place you go, everything you do, or every person you see just to avoid your partner’s anger?
5. Does your partner constantly put you down and then tell you that they love you?
6. Have you ever been hit, kicked, shoved or had things thrown at you?
7. Do you not see family/friends or do things because of your partner’s jealousy?
8. Have you been forced into having sex when you didn’t want to?
9. Are you afraid to break up with your partner because they threatened
to hurt you or themselves?

If you answered yes to any of these questions….

-You can end the relationship and choose not to see your partner
-Get help from someone you trust, preferably an adult
-Go to your counseling center at school
-Call 1-800-572-SAFE (7233) for referral to a local support program in your area

Myths About Dating Relationships:

-A guy needs to be in control of the relationship
-A girl is to blame when a guy hits her
-It’s understandable to hit her – maybe next time she’ll learn not to make me angry
-I love him. I’m the only one who can help him
-Some girls ask for it – that’s why they stay
-I shouldn’t have nagged him. It was my fault he got angry
-When a guy gets angry, he can’t help it. He’s uncontrollable.
-I was drunk. I didn’t know what I was doing
-She hit me first and I hit her back. Everybody does it sometimes.
-If she really loved him, she could make him change.
-If I could figure out what sets him off and not do it, maybe he could stop.

Bitch

Where the fuck are you?
Where have you been?
Bitch I’m waiting for you
Stop playing these silly games
Just meet me where I am
Why couldn’t you be the one?
I seriously thought it was you
And then you went ahead and crumbled my love for you in your hands
How could you do that to me?
I have no idea how to erase you from my memories
I still dream about you
You were my first real love
What a terrible experience that was
I have yet to fall in love like that again
Have you?
Have you not found someone to put up with all your bullshit yet?
I doubt it
At least not like I did
Do you still dream about me?
I bet you curse my name every day
There’s a barrier between us
You put that there
It wasn’t me baby
What do you have left to say?
I wonder if I’ll ever happen to come across you
I wonder how you’d look at me
Would you have eyes of repentance?
Would you even look at me?
Would you say “I know I fucked up.”
I drowned all my dreams with those bottles
Laying in my bed
Looking at the ceiling
It could have been so perfect
Oh sweet baby
I’m sorry
I’m sorry for you
This bitch

Shadows

We met in your shadows
I wanted to see your light
I wanted you without all your flaws
I found him
I was wrong
I don’t want you at all
I never want to feel like this again
But I know I’m lying
Exactly 3 years later
That wish came true
How painful was it
To have you remembered
How terrible is it that I can’t forget you
How disgusting is it
That I still wish the best for you
How sick of me to wish you well
I must be my own sadist
Or am I really channeling my Inner Mother Teresa
You have marked me
I have marked you
We both lost
I never lose anymore
Fuck You
I just wanted to heal you

Beautiful

She was so beautiful I cried
My heart ached
The tear fell down my face
I longed to hold her
I yearned to grab her
To make her mine
To breathe her in
Take in her orgasmic essence
Get lost in her
I can feel her heart
It’s not just those beautiful curves
Or that sweet naughty smile
Or the way she bites her lip
It’s how clueless she is to how beautiful I find her
Its how much space she has in her heart
To love, nurture, and forgive all who have harmed her
To carry on with caution but no regrets
I love the way her hips sway underneath the moonlight
I love the way she gets lost in her head
I wonder what she thinks about
I know she’s of substance
God is she deep
If I dive
I know I’m gone forever
I’ll never come back for air
I love her so much I almost want to hurt her
I want to make her feel alive
I want to make her cry
I want to make her laugh
It’s like I woke up from this cloud I’ve been living in
Sometimes I just want to crawl in her
She can see through me
And it scares me
She has a way of capturing your heart in mysterious ways
She is so silent sometimes
Yet it’s so soothing
Will she run away if I get on my knees
She’s wild and roams free
I don’t want to tame her but I want her so bad
Butterflies
This uneasiness that I’ll never see her again
So I’ll just love her the way she wants me to love her
She’ll never be captured
She’ll never be owned
The butterfly dancing in the sky
Forever dancing
I’ve never seen a woman so wild
She’s beautiful
It hurts

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