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Awakening of Ann

Welcome to my soul & mind

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Shadows

We met in your shadows
I wanted to see your light
I wanted you without all your flaws
I found him
I was wrong
I don’t want you at all
I never want to feel like this again
But I know I’m lying
Exactly 3 years later
That wish came true
How painful was it
To have you remembered
How terrible is it that I can’t forget you
How disgusting is it
That I still wish the best for you
How sick of me to wish you well
I must be my own sadist
Or am I really channeling my Inner Mother Teresa
You have marked me
I have marked you
We both lost
I never lose anymore
Fuck You
I just wanted to heal you

Beautiful

She was so beautiful I cried
My heart ached
The tear fell down my face
I longed to hold her
I yearned to grab her
To make her mine
To breathe her in
Take in her orgasmic essence
Get lost in her
I can feel her heart
It’s not just those beautiful curves
Or that sweet naughty smile
Or the way she bites her lip
It’s how clueless she is to how beautiful I find her
Its how much space she has in her heart
To love, nurture, and forgive all who have harmed her
To carry on with caution but no regrets
I love the way her hips sway underneath the moonlight
I love the way she gets lost in her head
I wonder what she thinks about
I know she’s of substance
God is she deep
If I dive
I know I’m gone forever
I’ll never come back for air
I love her so much I almost want to hurt her
I want to make her feel alive
I want to make her cry
I want to make her laugh
It’s like I woke up from this cloud I’ve been living in
Sometimes I just want to crawl in her
She can see through me
And it scares me
She has a way of capturing your heart in mysterious ways
She is so silent sometimes
Yet it’s so soothing
Will she run away if I get on my knees
She’s wild and roams free
I don’t want to tame her but I want her so bad
Butterflies
This uneasiness that I’ll never see her again
So I’ll just love her the way she wants me to love her
She’ll never be captured
She’ll never be owned
The butterfly dancing in the sky
Forever dancing
I’ve never seen a woman so wild
She’s beautiful
It hurts

Them…

Its the ones you love
Or the ones you once made love to
The people who say they care
The people who say they won’t judge
Its the people you trust
Or who you once trusted
The people who betray you
The people who insult you
The people who belittle you
Yet I
I still trust
I still love
I open my heart
I open my arms
Surrendering
To love
To hurt
To wisdom
When you come into my life
My heart is your land
Do with it as you shall
But remember
You reap what you sow
Even when you run my land barren
And desert me…
The rain eventually comes to bring me back to life
No matter what you do
I stay standing

Pussy

You’ve come from my womb
I have birthed you
I have nurtured you
I have loved you
From birth you will spend the rest of your life
Trying to reach my womb once again
You seek my comfort
Let your head rest on my humble bosom
You seek my nurturing
Let your pains wash away with the pleasure of my body
I have let you into my sanctuary
When you brought home food
I gave you a meal in return
When you bought a house
I gave you a loving home to return to
When you planted seeds
I gave you more life
I let you carry out your legacy for generations
He has plowed my soil
With all the love I have given & everything I have multiplied for you
You yet refuse to admit you fear me
You have built the world in your favor
You have shackled my spirituality…my nature
You have worked your whole life to own me and my beautiful sisters
You have marked me as your land, your territory
You have worked to conquer me..to control us
You can’t seem to embrace the power of my sexuality
Throughout the ages
You have sacrificed me
You have stoned me to death
You have burned me as a witch
You have divorced me
You have separated me from my children
Why do you shame thus which you desire so much?
You see me only as you want me to be
Yet I am so much more
I hear your muttered insults
Those directed towards my insatiable exotic sisters
Those directed to myself
Yet you dream of us
Yet you desire us
Yet you LUST for us
For you desire not just I…but all the beauties I have birthed
So let us be free…the way we have let you be free without stigma
You hate me and my daughters for we have refused to be your slaves
Why the electrified high-security razor-wire fence to contain a kitty-cat?
My dear, the strength of the drive determines the force required to suppress it.
My pussy makes the world go round
You simply can’t forget me

Sometimes…

We have those nights where we remember
A glass of wine in hand
As the tears roll down your face
I wish I could take all the pain away
I wish I could end your suffering..

Hate

I felt this way once before

But never to this extent

The soul feels empty & hollow

The heart is full of rage & resentment

Hatred

How awful it is to carry this in one’s heart

It’s a deadly poison that has robbed me of life

I don’t even recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror

Stranger

I can’t imagine having lived with this all my life…

 

 

 

Love Me

I feel alive again

I wish I could lay my head on you

And call you home

I’m at peace

When I feel your tender touch

Words can’t even express

The love I have for you

Numb…

How did I get to that point…

To be so numb

Just going through the motions

Killing myself softly inside

Oh how I wish I could go back in time

Praying to God to be forgiven

I wish I believed in God back then

I wish fear was instilled

I was never cold

I used to care

I’m fighting a war against myself

Just take me back

Back to the person I once was

The young smart girl full of hope

Full of innocence

Full of life

Bring that girl back to me

Please

Walk On By…

I glanced over

And I saw your face

My heart instantly dropped

I couldn’t believe I was seeing your handsome face

A shock took over me

You looked so beautiful

Your hair fluttering in the wind

The fall leaves falling from the trees

Your cosmopolitan walk

I had to hide before you saw me

I couldn’t let you see me like this

Imperfect

But how I wish I could have walked in your direction

How sweet would it have been to feel your loving embrace

How sweet would it have been to hold your dear face

Ive searched for someone like you for so long

Would I ever meet someone like you again?

And then my mind wanders to a dark place

As I gaze out into the midnight sky

I pray to God our paths will cross again

When the time is right

 

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