love

Sweet Embrace

Looking at you just makes me melt

So much about you gives me butterflies

So near me to touch

I want to feel your sweet embrace

I want to feel you love me all over again

I love the warmth of your heart

Your kisses are unlike any other

The sweetest kisses I have ever tasted

The way you gently hold my face as our lips engage

So tender it is … as if you were an Angel

If I fall.. I only want it to be in your arms

May 3, 2017 0

So Bitter & Sweet

I can remember a beautiful sunny hot day as we sat at the table in your backyard

Sipping on Iced tea..laughing & talking about our boyfriends at that time

I felt like we were the only ones who understood how important love was to us

I thought we would grow old together

I imagined us sitting in our rocking chairs as little raisins…

Still laughing…sipping on iced teas on a summer day

You still appear in my dreams

I wonder how you are

I wonder how my life would be like if you were still in it

And I always admit to myself…how much I miss you

I miss confiding in you

I miss turning to you when the world seemed to go dark on me

I miss lying my head on your shoulder

You were the only one who knew my entire story

From beginning to end

You saw how I was suffering…

I thought you were my ride or die

Today I am still confused whether you still were or if it changed

I might never know but it doesn’t haunt me

I learned to let go & move forward

I just find it interesting

To think you are close enough to walk to & ring on your doorbell

I always imagine how it would go

If our eyes would meet in regret…if we would swallow our pride and embrace

I wonder if you ever reached out without me knowing

I simply miss having that one person..who just simply understood

I used to look at depressed people
With confusion
Not understanding why
How could someone be so depressed?
How could someone cry so much?
How could someone wallow in their pain for so long?
It is truly pathetic
But now I find myself on the other side
Drowning in my own salty tears
I have become someone I ridiculed
There is so much to be grateful for
So much had gone so right
Everything feels like it’s crashing
Like a plane high in the sky
heading full speed downwards
I just have no idea how I got here
I never saw this coming
I didn’t think I would be crashing like this again
I said goodbye to the sad lonely girl long ago
Embracing all the good things in life
Appreciating the most simple things in life
Yet the darkness seeped back into my soul
Capturing me with it’s deathly grip
Now I am dreaming I am satan himself
Wandering aimlessly through life
Hoping & Praying to God
I’ll stumble onto where I belong
Stumble onto my Purpose
Something I used to think I had all figured out
I was a brave one
Brave & Stubborn & Determined
Nothing was getting in my way
It was either my way or the highway
I overcame every obstacle
Anything I wanted…
I always went in & got it
I was confident & focused
I knew what I wanted
I knew where I was going
And no one was able to tear me down
Somewhere along the way
I fell
I fell so hard…again & again
To the point where I just laid on the ground
Defeated …curled up in a fetal position
Incapable of looking in the mirror
I became a shell of myself
The person I used to be
Not everyone is the angel they seem to be
And not everyone is the devil
I guess it’s time to swallow my pride
Not that there is any left…