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Awakening of Ann

Welcome to my soul & mind

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emotions

My Life

Words sizzled through my heart

The way a cigarette burns through flesh

What is life like?

When you pushed away everyone who was good in your life

Subconsciously sabotaging relationships for a mysterious underlying issue

When you pushed away your family to a breaking a point

When your friends don’t know what is going on

Because you’re too afraid to trust anyone

Because you’re too afraid they will judge you

In the end, that is what they all do anyways

When you lied your entire life

So no one believes you when you are actually telling the truth

Maybe it is time to stand on my own two feet again

And you realize all the games people played you with

When you realize you were simply just part of a cruel game

I’m going back in time right now

Trying to pinpoint the exact moment when everything went wrong

I guess there isn’t a single point

Some things just slowly happen before you realize

I don’t even know what goes on in my head anymore

The most fucked up thing about this

Is I know I created this world for myself

I don’t want to lose everything…

 

 

 

 

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Please…

Don’t take my silence
As an insult
Don’t mistake my silence
As an attitude
Recognize my silence
As my Inability
To speak without crying
Afraid it’s too much for you to handle
Afraid to say the wrong thing
Afraid you wouldn’t understand
But in truth the saddest thing is to stay in silence
To never speak up
Never knowing if someone would have accepted you
Looking beyond your flaws
Please my dear
Do not stay in silence
I assure you
There is someone out there who understands
As unlikely as that seems
Trust me

Thought I Forgot

Life goes on
That I know
Something that I believed in
But you creep into my thoughts
Trying to replace you
Erase you from my heart
Yet you linger
You come when I least expect it
As if I left the door open for you
If I could just kiss you one more time
I wonder what it would feel like
Would you give me those sparks again
Would you hold me tight
Not wanting to let go
I know I shouldn’t
Keep thinking what if
What if I let myself fall
Fall in love so madly & deeply beyond words
So deep I can’t find myself
Suffocating & drowning in your love
I wish I knew
I wish I didn’t run away
I don’t want to look back
I don’t want to live in the past
Yet you made me feel
I want to feel
I need you to rip my heart out
Just let it burn
Watch the flames engulf my soul, mind, & body
Trying to find you
Trying to find anyone like you
I’m willing to be blinded again
I’m willing to be broken
Just love me & run away with my heart

I refuse

To obey the laws of society

To accept everyone’s standard of beauty

To sign my life away with a contract

To enslave myself with a 9-5

To change myself to fit your beliefs

To settle for mediocrity

To let you steal my dreams

To believe everything the government says

To swallow every pill a doctor prescribes

To think the love of my life doesn’t exist

I refuse

Far away…

As I gaze upon the constellations in the midnight sky…

I think about my destination & I start to cry…

Because it all seems so far away…

And these dreams have ceased to fade away…

And all i can think about is a love lost long ago…

While laying here on the grass feeling this warm breeze blow…

Wishing upon a star…

Just one more time

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