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Awakening of Ann

Welcome to my soul & mind

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Love…

Loving can hurt…

But I feel not loving can hurt just as much…

To yearn for the light of deep passionate love…

Yet the sunshine never reaches…you only catch glimpses

It is the inability to be vulnerable that hurts…

To watch someone beautiful walk away…

Because you couldn’t open up your heart

But what if we did?

What if we dove so deep in love

Dove into the deepest depths of the heart & soul

Reaching that mesmerizing paradise that glimmers underwater

There we could stay for a while…

Make love all night long

Feel your sweet tender lips..

Feel your sweet gasps for air..

Feel your dainty fingers running down my legs..

i wish I felt it all….

All over again

Please…

Don’t take my silence
As an insult
Don’t mistake my silence
As an attitude
Recognize my silence
As my Inability
To speak without crying
Afraid it’s too much for you to handle
Afraid to say the wrong thing
Afraid you wouldn’t understand
But in truth the saddest thing is to stay in silence
To never speak up
Never knowing if someone would have accepted you
Looking beyond your flaws
Please my dear
Do not stay in silence
I assure you
There is someone out there who understands
As unlikely as that seems
Trust me

Her Beauty…

If only we could stop measuring women

By the size of her breasts, hips, or waist….

But by the goodness in her heart…

The Pure Essence of Her Soul…

& The Brilliance of Her Mind…

-C.A.T

The world is in dire need of healing

Do you think if we really knew who we were, that it would be part of a solution?

Our exterior is just a vessel in which our soul resides in…

We need to look beyond the surface…

Thoughts of a MakeupArtist….

I refuse

To obey the laws of society

To accept everyone’s standard of beauty

To sign my life away with a contract

To enslave myself with a 9-5

To change myself to fit your beliefs

To settle for mediocrity

To let you steal my dreams

To believe everything the government says

To swallow every pill a doctor prescribes

To think the love of my life doesn’t exist

I refuse

Far away…

As I gaze upon the constellations in the midnight sky…

I think about my destination & I start to cry…

Because it all seems so far away…

And these dreams have ceased to fade away…

And all i can think about is a love lost long ago…

While laying here on the grass feeling this warm breeze blow…

Wishing upon a star…

Just one more time

I am a murderer

I am a murderer

A killer of our dreams

Our Hopes

Our Goals

Our Aspirations

I assassinated them in the broad daylight

With more than kisses & hugs

Accustomed to your voice..that’s all I know

Accustomed to your absence

But basked in your love

Forgive me & this lustful sin

I miss you

</3

I see…

Have you ever felt so distant from every one else?

I’ll rather watch than be a part of the show

I see people walking & running

So wrapped up in their own lives…but aren’t we all?

I see “wise” wrinkled & youthful faces

I see the breeze flowing through black ..curly..& blonde frizzy hair

I see beautiful masculine specimens followed by pretty little pregnant “things”…

Gorgeous Eyes hidden behind lenses

I hear conversations kept secret by another language

I hear the clicking of heels & wheels rolling on the pavement

I smell smoke perishing precious lungs….

I feel a longing…

The world is so vast & diverse

I wish I could see & understand all …

Written on the back of a boarding pass…. Newark Airport

Her slavery…

I thought I was free…

When I fled from an abusive long term relationship

I thought I was free…

When I ran away from a mother who ran a household like a country under dictatorship

I thought I was free…

When I went against the rules of society

I thought I was free…

When I became myself

Until I realized…

Instead of becoming a slave to a lover, a mother, myself, or to society

I am slaved to a living

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