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Awakening of Ann

Welcome to my soul & mind

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romance

Silly Little Doll Faces

A painful existence
Brushing her hair
Fixing her Makeup
Home all alone
Home all day
A slave to her love

This Time

I no longer pray for myself
I pray for you
I pray that you learn to forgive one day
I pray one day you can let go of all that hatred in your heart
What a heavy thing to carry it must be
I pray that one day you will find happiness
I pray that you will find that from within yourself
I pray for you my dear
My old beloved

My Life

Words sizzled through my heart

The way a cigarette burns through flesh

What is life like?

When you pushed away everyone who was good in your life

Subconsciously sabotaging relationships for a mysterious underlying issue

When you pushed away your family to a breaking a point

When your friends don’t know what is going on

Because you’re too afraid to trust anyone

Because you’re too afraid they will judge you

In the end, that is what they all do anyways

When you lied your entire life

So no one believes you when you are actually telling the truth

Maybe it is time to stand on my own two feet again

And you realize all the games people played you with

When you realize you were simply just part of a cruel game

I’m going back in time right now

Trying to pinpoint the exact moment when everything went wrong

I guess there isn’t a single point

Some things just slowly happen before you realize

I don’t even know what goes on in my head anymore

The most fucked up thing about this

Is I know I created this world for myself

I don’t want to lose everything…

 

 

 

 

Love…

Loving can hurt…

But I feel not loving can hurt just as much…

To yearn for the light of deep passionate love…

Yet the sunshine never reaches…you only catch glimpses

It is the inability to be vulnerable that hurts…

To watch someone beautiful walk away…

Because you couldn’t open up your heart

But what if we did?

What if we dove so deep in love

Dove into the deepest depths of the heart & soul

Reaching that mesmerizing paradise that glimmers underwater

There we could stay for a while…

Make love all night long

Feel your sweet tender lips..

Feel your sweet gasps for air..

Feel your dainty fingers running down my legs..

i wish I felt it all….

All over again

Thought I Forgot

Life goes on
That I know
Something that I believed in
But you creep into my thoughts
Trying to replace you
Erase you from my heart
Yet you linger
You come when I least expect it
As if I left the door open for you
If I could just kiss you one more time
I wonder what it would feel like
Would you give me those sparks again
Would you hold me tight
Not wanting to let go
I know I shouldn’t
Keep thinking what if
What if I let myself fall
Fall in love so madly & deeply beyond words
So deep I can’t find myself
Suffocating & drowning in your love
I wish I knew
I wish I didn’t run away
I don’t want to look back
I don’t want to live in the past
Yet you made me feel
I want to feel
I need you to rip my heart out
Just let it burn
Watch the flames engulf my soul, mind, & body
Trying to find you
Trying to find anyone like you
I’m willing to be blinded again
I’m willing to be broken
Just love me & run away with my heart

I refuse

To obey the laws of society

To accept everyone’s standard of beauty

To sign my life away with a contract

To enslave myself with a 9-5

To change myself to fit your beliefs

To settle for mediocrity

To let you steal my dreams

To believe everything the government says

To swallow every pill a doctor prescribes

To think the love of my life doesn’t exist

I refuse

I am a murderer

I am a murderer

A killer of our dreams

Our Hopes

Our Goals

Our Aspirations

I assassinated them in the broad daylight

With more than kisses & hugs

Accustomed to your voice..that’s all I know

Accustomed to your absence

But basked in your love

Forgive me & this lustful sin

I miss you

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His…

Glowing Gorgeous Green Eyes

Illuminating My Soul

Giving Life to My Emotions

Giving me the Greatest Hope for Love

Butterflies of Excitement

Random Smiles

Dancing through the streets in the Pouring Rain ….

Glowing Gorgeous Green Eyes

Give me these feelings ….

One More Time

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