Awakening of Ann

Oh how I wish you were real
The way you look at me
Sends shivers down my spine
Yet deep down I know
There is no depth to those seemingly loving eyes
You paint my dreams
As if you could read my mind
And oh how you paint them so vividly
As if I could almost taste them
As if I could almost hold them
Yet I know this is all part of your trickery
All these games you play to fill a void
Because nothing is ever enough
No love can make you feel complete
No love in this world could make you feel whole
Even If I loved you unconditionally which I try hard to do
At what point do I become this empty black hole like you?
At what point do I become the reflection of your void?
Empty and Hollow
Yet we all have our coping mechanisms don’t we?
For some it’s the bottles..
Other its the pills…
Yet for a few it’s lover after lover after lover
I remember when I chose to not be like you
I knew I should care because it was the right thing to do
As painful as it turned out to be
And I cry
For I who claim myself a healer…
Is lost in healing you…

You have lost the very beauty of being alive
For if you cut out all your pain and suffering
You will never experience the gift of happiness