#narcissisticabuse

Escape

When most people were escaping their pain through their work

When most people would pick up the bottle

When most people would do a line & a half

When most people would bury their pain in a womans body

I was stepping into the fire

I laid in my bed

For hours

For days

For weeks

But I too was numbing out…

I numbed myself out of joy

I numbed myself out of life

Joy did not come & go

Joy came & fled

And darkness slowly overtook

I hid

I tried to fit myself into places I didnt belong

I starved myself, cut myself, tried to refigure & rearrange myself

I hid from places where I wanted to be

I hid from people I wanted in my life

All because

There was a little part of me

That felt like I wasn’t good enough to be there

That everyone is better than me

That Ill be rejected

Like how the people who were supposed to love me the most

Rejected me