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Awakening of Ann

Welcome to my soul & mind

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narcissistic recovery

Living the Soft Life

I feel like some of us are going back to a place we once longed to escape

Once upon a time we were little slaves of the home & our husbands

Handcuffed to their needs & of our children without any sense of identity outside of that

Now that we have the opportunity to pursue our passions, build a career for ourselves…

It seems like so many women do not want to work & would rather find a wealthy man to come rescue them

I am alarmed at how many of us are cornering ourselves into very vulnerable situations

I myself have once had all my bills paid, trips paid, school paid for, shopping sprees, a luxury apartment, the shoes & the purses

But once that man felt like he had my heart

He turned into the most abusive monster

I learned to never depend on a man like that ever again

And all the luxuries in the world are not enough to fulfill or mend your soul

Listen to all the stories of older women who simply committed themselves to their husband and children, forfeiting their career and/or passion

And being left for someone else & having to start their lives all over again with no work experience for the last decade

No one is coming to save you, only you can save yourself

Escape

When most people were escaping their pain through their work

When most people would pick up the bottle

When most people would do a line & a half

When most people would bury their pain in a womans body 

I was stepping into the fire 

I laid in my bed 

For hours

For days

For weeks 

But I too was numbing out… 

I numbed myself out of joy 

I numbed myself out of life

Joy did not come & go 

Joy came & fled 

And darkness slowly overtook 

The Devil

I fell in love

With the devil himself

Disguised as an Angel

Everything you desire

Is what he will give you

He’ll make your dreams come true

He tells you

I love you

And as soon as you’ve truly fallen

And you’ve been tricked by the facade

He takes it all away from you

With a smirk on his face

The love you thought you had

Was never real

As if he took all your dreams

And burned them to ashes

In front of your very eyes

No one else will know

Because the whole world is tricked by the facade

And when he leaves

Your soul will be left in ashes too

For the world will think you’re crazy

But its because you know the Truth

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