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Awakening of Ann

Welcome to my soul & mind

Tag

freedom

My Life

Words sizzled through my heart

The way a cigarette burns through flesh

What is life like?

When you pushed away everyone who was good in your life

Subconsciously sabotaging relationships for a mysterious underlying issue

When you pushed away your family to a breaking a point

When your friends don’t know what is going on

Because you’re too afraid to trust anyone

Because you’re too afraid they will judge you

In the end, that is what they all do anyways

When you lied your entire life

So no one believes you when you are actually telling the truth

Maybe it is time to stand on my own two feet again

And you realize all the games people played you with

When you realize you were simply just part of a cruel game

I’m going back in time right now

Trying to pinpoint the exact moment when everything went wrong

I guess there isn’t a single point

Some things just slowly happen before you realize

I don’t even know what goes on in my head anymore

The most fucked up thing about this

Is I know I created this world for myself

I don’t want to lose everything…

 

 

 

 

I refuse

To obey the laws of society

To accept everyone’s standard of beauty

To sign my life away with a contract

To enslave myself with a 9-5

To change myself to fit your beliefs

To settle for mediocrity

To let you steal my dreams

To believe everything the government says

To swallow every pill a doctor prescribes

To think the love of my life doesn’t exist

I refuse

I see…

Have you ever felt so distant from every one else?

I’ll rather watch than be a part of the show

I see people walking & running

So wrapped up in their own lives…but aren’t we all?

I see “wise” wrinkled & youthful faces

I see the breeze flowing through black ..curly..& blonde frizzy hair

I see beautiful masculine specimens followed by pretty little pregnant “things”…

Gorgeous Eyes hidden behind lenses

I hear conversations kept secret by another language

I hear the clicking of heels & wheels rolling on the pavement

I smell smoke perishing precious lungs….

I feel a longing…

The world is so vast & diverse

I wish I could see & understand all …

Written on the back of a boarding pass…. Newark Airport

Her slavery…

I thought I was free…

When I fled from an abusive long term relationship

I thought I was free…

When I ran away from a mother who ran a household like a country under dictatorship

I thought I was free…

When I went against the rules of society

I thought I was free…

When I became myself

Until I realized…

Instead of becoming a slave to a lover, a mother, myself, or to society

I am slaved to a living

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